Trying To Understand
by gawilliams
Summary: Captain Gates has a question for Castle.


_This is something I've been thinking about since the beginning of the season and finally decided to quickly write it out. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

Captain Victoria Gates opened the door to the bar _The Old Haunt _and walked in. She'd heard a lot about this bar that Rick Castle had bought and maintained as mainly a cop bar. From what she heard, he was a dependable ally of the police off duty as well as when on. Taking in the atmosphere she noted that it was a bit empty, and given that shift change wasn't for another hour or so she was nodding in approval. The man obviously was up on making sure that cops were doing there job as opposed to in a bar during duty hours. She spotted the man she was looking for and made her way over to the small table a few feet from the bar.

"Mr. Castle," she said as she watched him working on some paperwork. She took in the sight. Neat and organized, Castle was going over figures carefully and taking notes. She nodded to herself, noting one more positive aspect of this man.

Castle looked up and didn't let his shock at this person showing up in front of him show. He stood up politely. "Captain Gates," he said politely. He looked at his watch. "I know it's early, but would you like a drink?"

"It's not quitting time yet, so I'll have a diet soda, if you please," Gates told him.

"I'll be right back," Castle replied and made his way over to the bar.

Gates noted that Castle personally got her order, and didn't leave it to the bartender. _So, gracious as well as considerate_, she thought to herself. She smiled and opened her purse to get a few dollars to pay.

"Please, it's on the house," Castle refused her money. He took a seat across from her. "I'm not in the habit of accepting money from my friends, unless it's for a worthy cause and it's a check with a lot of zeroes on it."

Gates raised a brow. "You consider me a friend?" she questioned, finding it hard to believe.

Castle took a drink of his ice water and considered how to answer that one. "I don't base my friendships on whether I agree or disagree with someone," he finally replied. "I consider you a very good Captain. You run the precinct with efficiency, and you're fair. I put you in an awkward position last summer and also when Beckett came back. Frankly, I would have reacted like you did if our positions were reversed."

"Are you trying to charm me, Mr. Castle?" Gates asked, a bit flattered by his admission.

"Only if I thought it would work," Castle admitted. "I know better in this case, though. But, please, in here call me Castle, or Rick. I despise formality, and we aren't anywhere formal like the Precinct."

"Alright, Castle, and in here I'm either Gates or Victoria," Gates told him. "I want to know something, Castle, and I don't want any evasion or smart ass replies."

Castle was no fool, and he had a pretty good idea what she wanted to ask. She had hinted at it broadly and directly a couple of times and each time he'd evaded making a serious reply.

"You want to know why I keep shadowing Beckett," Castle said without blinking.

"Very good, but not quite," Gates replied. "I have my own suspicions on the why, but I want to understand what drives you to keep on doing this. I still haven't made up my mind about you being a part of my precinct, _**unofficially**_, and any information in that regard will help me make a decision."

Castle leaned back. He had to be careful. He knew that he was fooling no one about his being very much in love with Beckett, and from the beginning of his knowing Gates he'd known that nothing escaped her attention for long. He wondered what would happen if he told her the actual truth outside the obvious reason. Would she acknowledge the validity of it? Or would she us it to end once and for all his being around the 12th? He had a feeling that he couldn't pull enough strings to get out of her kicking him out again. He decided to be honest.

"When I met Beckett and the boys I had just killed off the main character in the Derrick Storm novels," he told her. "I was burned out and just wanted to find anything to do that didn't involve the same old thing over and over again. Don't get me wrong. I love writing, and I will always find something to write, but at that point I had lost my edge and had no more to offer."

"And then you met Beckett," Gates said deadpan. It sounded like some sort of romance novel storyline. Love at first sight and all that nonsense. She had a feeling, though, that the interest in each other that Castle and Beckett held had been instantaneous.

Castle nodded. "I found a muse, but that explains the Nikki Heat novels, not what keeps me here," he told her. "I have a lot of friends, or what most would consider friends. Patterson and Cannell top the list, though Cannell's gone now. But the people at the 12th became my friends and easily the best friends I've ever had. I saw the dedication and drive that they have for their work. I also met a Captain who knows how to lead and not be a tyrant."

Gates chuckled. "I'll agree not to take that personally," she told him. "Roy Montgomery was a good friend of mine for a lot of years, so I know exactly what you're saying."

"I could never be a cop, Gates, and we both know that, but I do want to contribute," he told her. "I had the chance to talk to a number of the 9/11 first responders that survived, and I also spent a lot of my own money contributing to the funds for the families of those lost. But that was so distant from the reality of what had happened. I wanted to do more, but what could I do? I was only a writer. Then Beckett and the people of the 12th came along and I knew that I could do something useful if given the chance. I could also give the NYPD some very good publicity with the novels. It seemed like a win/win for everyone."

"I've read some of the notations Montgomery made in the case files about you," Gates revealed. "He thought very highly of you, and quite frankly made the transition to thinking of you as one of his detectives, just not officially."

"I consider that a compliment of the highest order coming from Captain Montgomery," Castle replied, thinking sadly of the man who was as good as anyone he'd ever known, despite the peripheral involvement in the situation that ultimately brought about the murder of Beckett's mother.

"You should," Gates said, her opinion of Castle rising a few notches as the reaction to what she'd just told him.

"I think I make a difference, Captain Gates," Castle continued. "I also give something to that team that they need. A person to talk to and be around that allows them to not be too caught up in the moment. The cases they work on are hard enough without having to deal with the grind of the relentless pressure and ultimate sadness every case brings about with no release valve for the emotions. I give them cooky theories and an ear to bend, but I also help them think outside the box on the difficult cases. If you kick me out, I won't argue and go over your head. I promise you that. All I ask is that at the end of the day you look at what I contribute fairly and honestly."

Gates heard the door opening and some off shift cops beginning to enter. She could also hear Esposito and Ryan. Beckett, she assumed, wouldn't be too far behind. She stood up and offered her hand.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Castle," she told him. "I'm still not sure about it all, but at least I know I can ask you a question and get a straight answer."

"You're welcome," Castle told her honestly. His estimation of Gates had increased in the course of the conversation. He nodded over her shoulder at Esposito and Ryan. "I'll be there in a minute, Guys," he told them. He looked at Gates. "You're more than welcome to join us, Captain."

"No thank you," she told him. "Perhaps some other time. I've got to get back to the Precinct and work on some of the paperwork that's been piling up. See you in the morning, Mr. Castle."

Castle watched as she left. It had been an odd conversation, but he felt good about it. He made his way over to Esposito and Ryan. They looked incredibly curious as to what Gates had been here and talking with him, but he knew they wouldn't ask.

"She just had a question for me, Guys," he told them as he looked over at his bartender and nodded. The groups drink orders were of long standing. "Where's Beckett?" he asked.

"She's down getting Lanie," Esposito told him.

"She'll be here in a little while," Ryan said at the same time.

Castle nodded and smiled. He picked up the beer that had just been set in front of him. Taking a drink he settled in for a nice evening with his friends. His true friends. Yep. Killing off Derrick Storm had been the best decision he'd ever made. And helping Gates to understand his motivations a bit more was the next best decision. It would hopefully allow him to stay involved with Kate and the Guys in solving murders, and it would also allow him to contribute. He made a note to send a thank you note to Gates the next morning. Nothing fancy. Just a small appreciation for her being a good Captain. The door opened once more and he smiled even wider when Kate walked in with Lanie. The night was now perfect.

_A/N: Sorry about cutting it off there, but this story was about Castle and Gates only. I hope you enjoyed it. Gregg._


End file.
